In comparing how people evaluated
me to how I evaluated myself, the results were rather interesting. I chose two
people from different areas of my life. The first was my teenage daughter who was
chosen to assess my effectiveness as a parent communicator as well as my
ability to communicate with different age groups. The other parson was one of my staff members,
Sarah, who is a lead teacher in the pre-Kindergarten room. By choosing her, I
wanted to assess my effectiveness as an administrator and a leader.
The most surprising result was
that of my colleague whose results placed me in the “significant” level on the
verbal aggressiveness scale. According to the scale, this level refers to
people with little provocation, where they might cross the line by attacking a
person’s position or statements, and commit verbal aggression through personal
attacks. I certainly would not want to be viewed by my staff as verbally
aggressive or rude so I had to take the time and reflect on these results.
Besides that, perhaps another important
insight that I gained about communication this week was how I was viewed by my
own children. Both my daughter and my colleague placed me in the same category
as I placed myself, a person with a people-oriented listening style. Furthermore,
While my test results placed me in the moderate level of verbal aggressiveness,
my daughter’s results differed by 14 points placing me in the low level of
verbal aggressiveness. This is rather significant because according to the
scale, it represents a person who is respectful of the viewpoints and
intelligence of others and attempts to change their minds in gentle ways and
without attacking their self-concept. As a parent, having a child who views me
in this manner is important in maintaining close relationship with my children
built on mutual respect.
Pondering the results of the three
assessments, I struggled to find the reason I was viewed so differently by one
of my staff compared to my own daughter on verbal aggressiveness yet be viewed
as a person who is people-oriented and empathetic and concerned with the
emotions of others by both people at the same time.
I enjoy reading your post and am glad to see you discovering more about your communication skills. It's usual to have different views by different people because everyone is different and unique according to their cultures, backgrounds and other things. Thank you for sharing this with us.
ReplyDeleteLufei
Rola, We share some of the same categories. I was placed in group 1 by myself and others then I scored low too by my evaluators. That shows that you are effective in your skills to communicate but it also show that you care about how other feel. Don’t take the negative personal. Find a way to use it as a learning tool. But know that sometimes it doesn’t matter how you say things in management because it is sometimes the way people receive it.
ReplyDeleteHi Rola
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter in-law evaluated my verbal aggressiveness I was very shock. It showed a moderate level, where I can maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others viewpoint. I think that we all had some level that we do not agree with I would not take it personal, because in some job position especially if you are in mamngement as stated by Katrice it's the way they receive the message. I work in management for 10 years and it can get ugly sometimes.